You really need to be focused on getting diet and stress under control because this kind of thing can lead to Ulcerative Colitis and many other big issues down the track. I think you will discover that as time goes on there are going to be many discussions about Klebsiella. And, in fact, Klebsiella pneumoniae is a one of two superbugs that hospitals are absolutely terrified of. There is also a lot of info coming out about childhood austism links to antibiotic overuse, Leaky Gut and Klebsiella.
As for probiotics… I make my own coconut kefir each day plus have some homemade sauerkraut. I also take some probiotic capsules each day. Again, lots of conjecture about how much good bacteria actually gets to the gut via the stomach. I struggled with many of these issues with my Dad, and ultimately he ended up losing the fight, at the too young age of May 9th will be three years since he passed.
Just sent this to my Mom and Stepdad, who really want to stay on the path toward losing weight and changing their diets, but struggle from time to time. I love them and hope they live a very long time… They have been making noticeable progress, but falling into old habits and rejecting ideas about food decades in the making can be very difficult.
Is there a way to help a family member lose weight without being hurtful?
This article was very inspirational and timely. So sorry for your loss and best of luck with the mom and stepdad. Foodist could probably really help them with their habits. One thing that has worked for me in the past, is when at home and cooking for myself, I also cook for others in the house. Portion control is the easiest thing to help with I think, and simply employing tricks like serving my meals in bowls, or using fish in tacos instead of beef or turkey can work wonders.
You know what really works well? Getting a scale, and weighing out your meat portions. On several occasions I have sliced thin, and weighed out 3oz portions of meat, and people are always impressed that they still feel full after eating what would normally seem to be a paltry piece of meat. Thanks again for the cool post. Amazon most be loving the link love.
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Solutions are rarely what we need. This includes having his left ankle fused his left calf muscle has almost completely atrophied , bone removed from his hip to reform damaged bones in the feet, and severe muscle loss in both his lower legs. He was in casts for most of his youth, due to the many surgeries.
Despite the pain and surgeries on his legs, my dad was a fantastic drummer for close to 30 years. He would fight through the muscle cramps and sore joints just to play for the crowds. He eventually had to stop playing due to the unbearable pain in his knees and lower legs. This significantly elevated a silent problem he had been dealing with since he was just a kid; depression.
He has suffered from it most of his life, causing him to weave in and out of jobs as often as his mood changes. As of May 1st, , he weighs nearly lbs. He drinks at least a pot of coffee each day, and will regularly bring a large bowl of chips or ice cream to bed. I never understood that joke. He takes prescription medicine for high cholesterol and also suffers from sleep apnea, causing him to sleep with a breathing machine. My mom and I have tried on multiple occasions at least 3x a week , to educate him on his dietary health, to no avail.
We both have tried to teach him how to make simple foods i. Lateral thinking, if you will. Thank you, Darya and Tim for this post, it does give me me hope that someday my dad will be there to watch his grandkids grow. You just need to get the ball rolling. Though far from perfect, ready-to-drink, pre-mixed Myoplex shakes were most convenient for my dad, so we started there. The best way to make huge changes is to start with tiny changes.
Scratch that — ONE tiny change. I had the same success with my mum. Wanted to lose some weight but through habit finds herself slipping back to older diet ways. But she does commit to trying things. In a roundabout way I think seeing me put on about 2 stone and get more muscular helped convince her I may be onto something. Plus i showed her T4HB!
He is starting to recommend more protein for breakfast for all his elderly patients. He happened to have a Nestle Strawberry Milk in his coat pocket. I pointed at the bottle and asked him how often he drank one of those. I asked him if he knew how much sugar was in them. He looked at the wrapper and said 31 grams.
He smiled as the light came on, and I suggested that he just start by no longer drinking this Nestle per day. This made me cry and smile at the same time! This is a beautiful example of what love really means.
- ‘So much fat!’ – the cruel autopsy of a 17-stone woman on the BBC.
You are a great daughter and your dad sounds like a wonderful father, God bless you both! This happened with my roommates. As a result, my boyfriend who was sort of wishy washy about committing to slow carb is now fully on board. We 4 support each other. We now share meals and alternate making dinners for each other. And no more fighting my own temptations because they no longer make desserts in the middle of the week — cheat day only! This was a really beautiful excerpt Darya, I loved reading it because it really reminded me of my dad and how hard it is to see them depressed and wanting to help.
I am so happy for you and your dad that it clicked and he is really happy in the lifestyle now. Such an inspiring story! Wonderful story — thanks. Well done to both. Shows that caring support and not pushing can reap great rewards. This story is just an anecdote from a chapter that includes tons of tips on manipulating language and home environments to get people to change their habits. Love all your work! All your discussions from 4HC etc have been about losing weight. Do you have any suggestions about gaining weight? My 16 year old daughter has become one of those typical teen girls that is always worried about her weight and now it has become a problem — not at the anorexic level yet but also not on the path that I want to see.
We have been trying to get her to gain some weight over the past 4 weeks but she has gained only 1 lb even though we have more than doubled her calorie intake from under per day to per day. Thank you for the kind words. I think one of the best approaches here is to add in resistance training, whether with a trainer, CrossFit, or following exercises in The 4-Hour Body.
I only ask as I have female friends who are healthy athletes around that range. Thanks Tim for your advice. I think you are right about doing some weight training. You can really see it when she does sports. To answer your question, I know there are lots of females who are lbs and healthy. I just think she looks a little too frail and lacks the tone. Adding the muscle will help that.
One of the first signs I remember was her shouting at mum for offering a piece of red meat. I agree with Tim. BMI charts can be a bit deceptive, particularly for athletes. Regardless, strength training and eating more healthy, calorie dense foods is how to gain weight in a healthy way. Just reading this article is an excellent metaphor for eating healthy and making a change!
It makes me think of Milton Erikson and in how abstract metaphors are so effective within people. I think I will get my own dad to read this, who has struggled with weight all his life and feels like the only option now is to get surgery.. Getting old school, stubborn thinkers to adopt and actually ENJOY healthy, clean eating is such a positive thing. Thanks for this article! I wanted to train my parents who are obese. My father had drum like tummy. High in visceral fat. He has high blood pressure. My mum does not have any condition yet but hopefully nothing is popping up.
Once I send him home, he volunteer to cook, my mum could not compain. Hopefully that in the near future, they would allow me to train them too. I would use how to lose pound in 4HB for them in order not to instill too much stress in chaning their lifestyle. Minimum effective dose to change their health and lifestyle. Great article and great lifehack. Hi Tim and Darya, I think you guys are awesome. Tim I discovered your books this past summer after taking my first of many board exams to become an M. You really helped me optimize my time and transcend the hoopla of medicine and realize I could kick ass at school, the gym, and anything in life.
Darya I think its awesome your using your Ph. D in such a practical matter and I unfortunately see alot of problems in our society about misconceptions about food and health. It kills me when I see someone buy stock up on only lean cuisine and fruit juices rather than buying unprocessed foods and adding in their own seasoning. Thanks so much to both of you and keep up the great work. I have a suggestion for the recipe, I always make it with a dash of Balsamic Vinegar Aceto Balsamico for acidity. Try it, tastes amazing. Thanks for sharing this. I have found it far more difficult enrolling family and close friends into health as I am greatly attached to the outcome, more than say with a random client perhaps.
Again, thanks for sharing, great to see the transformation simply documented. You may want to rethink the ab roller though, that crap will completely screw up your flexor chain, much better exercises out there. Today I read your post and like it. I think everyone who is health conscious as a permanent state of mind deals with similar struggles with family and friends. Thanks for sharing your success and insight Darya! Good post This was a tough one for me as I started the 4 Hour Body diet when the book came out and lost 30 lbs of fat and then went from Geek to Freak and added 20 lbs of muscle at age 55 I now have a male models body and look 15 years younger.
I got a lot of flack from my wife and daughter about the diet. My wife gave me a very hard time as she had gotten heavy after our child was born and there seemed to be a lot of jealousy regarding my quick transformation. I never tried to push it on them. We all cook diner together and slowly they started getting in the habit of eating better. It took a year to get them to full come around.
They still will not eat Kim Chi for breakfast but no complaints when we have Sashimi for breakfast. It takes time and it is not easy. Tim — great post. A lot of this hits home for how I feel about my fiance. He eats a lot of processed food and feels awful all the time. The title of this post is misleading.
The dad of this story even says it: Millions upon millions of women have fantasized for thousands of years that they can change their loved ones, and it has never happened. People change from within, not from without. I found out that I had rheumatoid arthritis one week before finding out I was pregnant with our first child. To manage the disease through what has now been two pregnancies which would not have been possible on traditional RA meds I switched to a vegan and gluten-free diet. This was an enormous change from a lifestyle that celebrated whole foods but heavily indulged in meat, dairy, and gluten.
The change in my health was so dramatic and encouraging my entire immediate family began to pay attention. Over the period of a year they all slowly adopted a vegan diet. It was never anything I pushed, but by sharing good food no bland tofu here! Now they are just as enthusiastic as I am about eating vegan.
There has been weight loss, increased energy, and a reduction in aches and pains all around. I never would have thought that my parents or brother would embrace such a significant diet change but once they took the first few steps and felt the results first-hand it was a steady move into new eating habits for all. The timing of this post is really ironic. I have always been into staying physically fit, and my wife has always been rather self conscious about her weight.
Several times, I was able to coax her into going to the gym with me, but the consistently was never maintained. While I hate to admit it, we love eating out. Even worse, we love the fast food. Despite getting rather chubby last year, a trip to Thailand and 10 hours a week of Muay Thai for four months helped me work that right off. On the opposite end, my wife did not have the success I did. Because I have been away from weight lifting for over a year, I decided I would get back into it.
I never felt better than when I was squatting double my bodyweight. Of course, I want my wife to feel better about herself which, in turn, means she wants to look better and shed a few. This time, though, I have leverage. I have been growing my hair since last year, and she abhors it. I mean, she straight up tells me how disgusting it is. I have never gotten so much satisfaction out of hair. On the day I returned to the gym, I made a deal with her: I will cut my hair when she loses the amount of weight she has had as a goal for years. I have never seen her more determined.
She carries her smartphone around with her and counts calories religiously. She wants me to get rid of this damn white man afro. Funny thing is I was going to cut my hair the weekend before I went back to the gym. I figured it was not worth it yet and would hold off for a week or so. Boy, am I glad I did that. Almost as much as the beans you prescribe. Thanks for introducing us to Darya. I feel like food is an addiction, the severity of it might be comparable to alcoholism for some… but I feel like the chemical dependency of alcohol might create different challenges.
Alcohol is fermented sugar and is metabolized in a similar but different way, causing intoxication. My dad is a recovered alcoholic, but he still takes a bowl of ice cream with him to bed each night. I think the sugar crash helps him get to sleep? I suggest getting yourself a pint of water after each drink you have with him. Hopefully that will nudge him towards fewer drinks and remembering the entire evening.
And not hating life when he wakes up the next morning. I feel like such a pusher now! I am a big fan of juicing organic fruits and veggies, and have read a lot 1 Norman Walker book about how these help our bodies. Are you a fan of juicing? I wrestled competitively for 14 years, so I have a lot of experience losing weight. I agree that eating a vegetable-filled, packaged-food-less diet is great, but the absolute, most critical factor in a successful weight-loss program is being able to apply your WILLPOWER to stick to your diet or exercise regimen, and the absolute, most critical factor in being able to do that is to be COMMITTED to achieving your weight-loss objective.
And it was this commitment that enabled him to apply his willpower to the task at hand. As an experiment, Mark Haub, a professor of human nutrition at Kansas State University, went on just such a diet and lost 27 pounds in two months and, surprisingly, his bad cholesterol dropped 20 percent and his good cholesterol increased 20 percent. He also reduced the level of triglycerides, a form of fat, by 39 percent. You can read about it here http: I actually have two chapters in the book explaining how willpower ch 2 and conviction ch 14 are two different things.
My journey towards fresh fruits and vegetables started with a standing date with a friend every Wednesday at Sunflowers, a produce market. We influence each others choices, and now, her toddlers are far more likely to snack on apples and berries, rather than the usual crackers and candy. I want to eat healthy — I really try and most of the time even manage to do so! As well as ice creams. This must be changed for better overall results in a longer period of time.
Last week I almost lost my daddy who suffered due to poor healthy eating. He was hospitalized and have to undergoing surgery. It was an eye-opening for him. I myself changed my healthy lifestyle. We know how it is difficult to combat with plethora of of contradictory what is a healthy lifestyle.
It is hard to see our loved one suffering as they struggled to be healthy. They thought they are doing right thing which they were severely misled. I hope I will benefit in motivating and inspiring my loved ones to achieve an optimal, healthy lifestyle. Darya, thank you so much for your great article.
I love that you inspired him in such a gentle and authentic way. This was very encouraging to hear. My dad and I have a great relationship in every aspect except health. Hopefully, this example will inspire my dad to do the same. Made me rummage around on that site for a few minutes, looking for the original video to no avail. Going to have to try the beet recipe. I need to get some tomatoes in the ground too, but I have to fence the garden first or my hens will dig them up. This was great Tim and Darya. Although I was going to tweet you this question, I figured it would be easier to see what others might add to this dilemma: One question that I keep getting from friends and relatives, and personally I think bears me asking as well, is about the morning routine for eating within 30mins of waking up the 30g within 30m.
I am very fit and active and exercise religiously. My beautiful wife has put on a few pounds and has been unable to get rid of them. She is very sensitive about it and I try to be cautious, but she has picked up on my disapproval of her diet she loves her cheese and bread and her exercise exercises regularly but stays away from intensive workouts. I managed to get her to work out and run with me in the past but my excitement and passion scared her away and made it a very frustrating activity for her.
I hate myself for being shallow, because she is an amazing woman, and I love her, but fitness is a huge part of my life, and I would love it if she shared that same lifestyle. I think the key is to let her make those changes on her own, and to realize that I will love her no matter what. That will be my new strategy. Spoil her, and let her know you adore her, and leave no doubt. For the first time he is actually thinking about what he is eating and if there is a better alternative.
We have always been there for him if he ever wanted to make a change. However it has taken something serious for him to actively start asking questions on what is better for him and to have open ears ready to listen to the answer. Beans, sauces, cooking oils, soups etc. For meals he now substitutes his old fave foods with better options. There are still lots more improvements he can make but actually enjoying the better options is a huge thing for him.
Even though weight was not an issue he has lost 20lbs without trying. The small food changes add up. My Mum has also lost weight too just from the default foods being slightly improved. The key here and in a lot of the other comments is leading by example. A positive food role model is what a lot of people are lacking. Make food an open topic of conversation instead of a source of tension. Fussy eaters with a limited range of likes are tougher. Then they go in search of a healthier replacement. I find the tastiest way to introduce an ingredient is as part of an already loved meal.
My sibling needs some of this finessing. The hardest thing is motivating others to do what is good for them. Getting them to go off their diet is way easier. I have some severely unhealthy family members and I was feeling hopeless on the matter until I read this article. I want to help facilitate a healthy life style for them without coming across as judgmental. I simply care about them and want the to live and thrive as long as possible. Persistent is a huge factor and I will try to be patient but continue offering them healthy opportunities and information. I bookmarked this page to read right before my boyfriend and I visit his parents for a week.
While she worked she barely did any weight bearing exercises, had an aversion of doctors read: I have seen her weight fluctuate over the past few years, but no one really knows how much she weighs. I suspect this big lady weighs anywhere from lbs. None of her kids or her husband are willing to suggest healthy changes for a forceful breadwinner of the family.
Fear, sensitivity, and dependency between loved ones. Your post nailed it. But this post affirms that we could cook all week for his mom as a subtle way to introduce health eating and lifestyle. When she visited us last year, she kept telling me that I did not have to go through all the trouble of cooking dinner every night for every one. I have been so accustomed to cooking fresh groceries I try to grocery shop frequently and cook it immediately that this was no big deal to me. But it was a big deal to her because of her stress habits. When I realize she would polish off her plate and ask for more, I knew that something paid off.
And so we are at it again this coming week. I had the same reaction you did, Darya. Surprised, laughing because it was so funny how the light bulb just suddenly went on, but HAPPY because she tried it. What a beautiful story. Family can defentily be such a pain when it comes to suggesting dietary changes. Specially when you are not ready to receive that information as it pokes on your ego. Following simple guidelines from the USDA is not bad either as a starting point in the quest for a healthy lifestyle.
Ok I started this diet 2 weeks ago. Here was my normal diet before I committed to the diet. Oatmeal with protein shake after I woke up. Snack at 10am with fruit. Snack on fruit at pm. Work out at 5pm-7pm. Eat stir fry mostly at Sleep at around midnight. Weekends eat whatever and drink. I am pretty disappointed with only losing 1 lb in 2 weeks. What could be the problem. What is my problem!? Thanks for your help!!! If you want a 1 sentence answer; too much protein from low quality sources and not enough vegetables, starchy carbs and fruit. Also, read your own post: I take supplements and I am not losing weight.
Try to get your nutrients from real food, not supplements. Supplements are the hard alcohol of food, best taken sparingly. Great story as well! It is actually very rare to run across someone who has such similar beliefs, and who took a similar career path as well. Inspired to continue on this journey. Great stuff as always! I have you to thank as the catalyst, hands down.
I was only reminded of that list 2 weeks ago, when I stumbled across the list of outrageous goals I set for myself. I owe much of this to you, your beliefs, and your actions. I am eternally grateful. Thanks for your help. This is very helpful. Even though she does not say anything I know she is very much willing to lose weight.
As a starter, I think she is just afraid that people may just laugh at her instead of encouraging her to live a healthy life. I am practicing some of the steps stated above to help her lose weight. I bookmarked your site so I can look around when I have more time. Nothing tastes as good as thin feels! There are so many people that would be great looking if they lost weight. I would rather jack off than have sex with a big girl. Imagine, helping a member of your family without sacrificing LOVE?!
I will surely give this a try to my father. Little tastings and watching later, they are now 16 and eat only whole grains, almost no sugar, and local organic fruit, vegetables and meat only. My husband is the hold out, and whether he changes or not is up to him and his Spam and cheeto dinners. One thing that impressed the boys was the disappearance of acne and the surge in energy. My mom is now 60 and widowed, 7 years ago my dad committed suicide and since then she appears to be getting worse every year despite the constant health reminders I give her about the food and the cigarettes she smokes.
Your article has re-inspired me to try and help her out but it also lacks actual ways how. I am not a doctor nor do I have a book on this stuff nor can I cook that great. My mom is an excellent cook but seems to not venture out of her comfort zone in regards to food. Our relationship is strained because of this. I am so sorry about your mom. She sounds depressed and her cigarettes and her food are the only things that she can count on to be there and not leave her.
Giving up that habit, along with the nicotine is a killer. Maybe you can go over and just take her out for a walk…a short 5 or 10 minute walk. Do not focus on her quitting smoking. Just get her outside and breathing. And if she continues once a week, maybe it will inspire more walks and more healthy choices. Try to stay away from mentioning quitting smoking and just focus on something positive.
I am here if you want to talk…: Try to convince her that if she wants to improve her odds of watching her grandchildren grow up promise her that you intend to have children , she must make the sacrifices. You must convince her that enjoying her grandchildren far outweighs the pleasure she gets from smoking and overeating. Thanks Tim for posting this info. There is no quick fix, but I now may have an idea for how to approach something I thought was a lost cause. I have the same reactions as some others — I just emailed this to a few close friends.https://provaladlito.ml/everything-on-the-line-calming-de-escalation.php
Struggling with sex when you're overweight – The Chart - tevopaleqopi.tk Blogs
I have friends my age who will be lucky to make another decade. Imagine being one heart attack in, yet still smoking, salting everything, being almost proud of avoiding exercise, and living off fast foods. Even small changes at first can make massive differences! My dad is very overweight but is a great cook and loves to eat fresh, wholesome, albeit sometimes rich food and good wines.
So how can I help him to lose weight? I have worked with many clients that are just like your dad. It is so hard for most family members to hear any type of advise from another family member, right??? Same with the husbands and wives I have worked with. He KNOWS you care and his health is on the line but until he is ready, he is only going to be upset when you bring it up because he knows he is letting you down.
I would be happy to talk to you…or your dad…or both. Oh, I so agree. You will be out the door!!! Some obese people are that way or become that way by taking some medications Some people have to take prednisone or other medications everyday of there life just to be able to get out of the bed every morning. I hope you never have to walk a mile in those shoes You people should be ashamed!!!!!! And then they cry that they can't find anyone to love them. Maybe because they're horrible people?
Grace, it's people like you that are so stupid it blows my mind. We are NOT talking about disease, medications, whatever. Stop trying to see things in one way. They eat poorly and are inactive. Yes I realized after I posted it was confusing. But at my age honestly, if I met him now looking like he does I would at least at first be attracted.
We were both very attractive in our twenties. We were both hard working single parents. I was waiting tables when this man with striking blue eyes and his child sat at one of my tables. I was impressed with the fact a man was having dinner with just his well behaved 2 year old. I couldn't quit chatting him up that night so he was most likely impressed I was working two jobs and in the same situation having a 2 year old myself.
I think for us at the time, being attractive was just a bonus. Now there are too many negative memories that make me hate his belly. Him complaining about his dad not taking care of his heart health. Him making a big deal about my sister getting fat. He picks on his friends girlfriends that have gained weight. Early last year I figured I would just join him and not care about what I look like. Then somehow it just hit me that I didn't want to sink with the ship so I lost 20 lbs. I still am going to lose more maybe he'll join me eventually. But even then I didn't realize we were limited in sexual positions due to his belly.
That happened when I felt a need to create a spark with something different. I was in the kitchen getting a drink and thought I would just walk back in the living room and start grinding on him with a lap dance. I walked in the living room with a big smile, took one look at him and realized I wouldn't get to what I wanted.
So I sat down and my silly little brain started thinking about things. I've had all kinds of fantasies I will never be able create when these kids leave home if that belly is still there. Just get out while you can. We don't get any younger and his belly will not get any smaller as he ages and his metabolism goes to nothing. Sex is important in a relationship and if you can't do that with him, it won't be long before you have an affair.
Mentally, I'm sure you already are How'd you guess that?! I get too much attention from other men and one in particular has been paying too much attention. The only thing I can guess I'm doing for that is smiling a bit too much when they talk to me. I am a good wife and will not act on anything though. And yes I smile plenty for my husband too. I just want him to keep his shirt on. There is no guarantee the next lover won't get fat over time, so is there really a point to leaving?
Maybe that's why some people stay single. There is no guarantee the next guy you date will not get fat, but you can pick a guy with some sense of health consciousness which has this great side effect of being fit. Finding someone who gives a damn about their health is what's important and when they live by the principles of wanting to be healthy, then your chances are that he won't become walking sack of lard.
I for one am a vegan that refuses to eat processed foods and I make it a point to work out three times a week for just an hour. People think I'm in my early 30s when in fact I am almost Also, depends on where you live too. If you live in the South except for some progressive areas , chances are you are overweight.
Best of luck to you! For me, I love sex waaaaayyy too much to let myself go! I enjoy being with a sexy woman and I want her to enjoy herself. How could she if she can't even find the organ that's supposed to pleasure her?! My husband was super fit when I met him! Went to the gym all the time.
Ate healthy and complained that his family didn't do the same so I thought he would always be fit. We were both really fit for a long time. Then he quit going to the gym when he got a hand injury. He refused to go because he couldn't lift the weight he used to. I kept going for a long time trying to encourage him to get back. I eventually had to quit because the people there who knew us thought we were having marital problems because he wasn't with me.
I think the people there are correct that you guys are having marital problems! If you do want to make it work, you need to figure out why he quit going. My thoughts are it wasn't just his hand injury but something else. Maybe something more psychological. I would try to really get to the core of why he thinks like he does now about wellness. Trying to understand it from his perspective is the first step in your process to determine if his behavior can be changed.
I can have an opinion and so can you. And I sure as heck didn't write this article. But think about this: Do I go around with a bat trying to beat the fat out of obese people? These are comments on a website. Do I wish we were a healthier nation, like our European or even Asian counter parts? Oh god yes I do. Facts are facts and you can't hide from them no matter how nice or rude you are. Yes, I have posted a lot here.
Because I am passionate about this topic. I have one of the toughest degrees you can get and I am very active in healthcare. I am also a published author and will not reveal my name here because I enjoy the anonymity of my comments in this raucous discussion. It has been very entertaining and in the end, hopefully, thought provoking for others. Couple things hopefully you get this. Two, your expectations are a little low. Why do I say that. Because from one of your first posts, you mentioned your age and your hubby's.
Trust me I hear that excuse from way too many women who speak about their overweight, out of shape husbands. And lastly, I hear alot of people talking about how important other aspects of marriage love, emotion, support, understanding, etc. Again this is not superficial or shallow, at 42 which is NOT 72 but at 42 he is doing you a dis-service by letting himself go. If what you say is true, then your bigotry and prejudice here would shame you in your RL. And to the people who don't realize we are talking about genuine FAT people, get a grip. Stop freaking out just because we are being honest that you fatties got yourself in this mess.
We are sick of us healthy people having to have to cater to the fatties out there who eat too much, don't get physical activity and then raise children to have the same poor habits they have which will always lead to low self esteem. So take a hint and actually appreciate the point we are making when we say it would be a cold day in heII before we would EVER think about going after a fatty.
What I'd like to know—HOW do you know the difference? If someone is fat, how do you know if it's from being lazy or having a medical issue? Sometimes, they don't even know. I went to the gym so much and still do it seems like a 2nd job. I didn't know until recently that my vegetarian diet was making me gain weight because of some severe issues with insulin. The whole grains and fruits I ate along with my vegetables were killing me. I NEVER and still don't drink soft drinks, I did so many things right that I would find myself busting out into tears when I would get ready for the day and see myself in the mirror.
The disgust that people like you show for the overweight really doesn't help anyone. I'm lucky that I've lost and kept off so much weight, and luckier that I was able to find out what was wrong. I'm also lucky that I am in excellent health. Although I have no lasting health problems, I have lasting emotional scars. I was nearly suicidal for so long because of my self-hatred. When you work so hard and get no results for so long, it can be quite upsetting. I've always worked out—even before my insulin problems kicked in My husband really wanted me to spend more time with him than I spent at the gym.
He works out, too, but I did—and still do kinda overdo it. Not everybody who has extra weight is lazy. Not everyone eats fast food to get that way. Since I've always made my own food and I've always avoided junk food, it's been easy to keep the weight of—NOW that I know what caused it and how to keep it from happening again. I'll be working out until I die to keep myself from getting big again. But really, how could you tell just by looking at me how I got that way?
How can you tell who is trying and who isn't? We all have our own problems, and fat people—no matter how they got that way—don't need any more hate than what they put on themselves. For the millionth time, my comments are NOT directed at those of you who have genuine medical problems.
I sympathize with your comments. One can be understanding yet blunt. I don't in real life judge others by their weight, color, income, whatever. I do try to help anyone less fortunate than me through knowledge and education and tough love. The vast majority of people that are obese didn't get that way from medical problems. They are the ones that need the wake up call. I am sorry for your struggles and wish you all the best. I myself follow an oil-free plant based diet for years now because I do practice what I preach. Best of luck to you. Sorry, not to sound mean or anything, but when I bend over a honey, I don't expect to be stopped at a degree angle, ya knows what I'm saying.
The Johnson rule o' thumb, "if she cant put her ankles behind her head, pass on that fat". I sure hope you're built like a year-old Brad Pitt to be making an insensitive comment like that. Big mama's got it going on, bro. And they are so soft! Saw some real pigs at walmart. One woman walking around with a filthy Care Bears Tshirt and her fat beer gut sticking out the bottom, dirty feet and flip flops, a small world menagere of kids and a tramp stamp Yeah, must be a slow metabolism, not the frozen pizzas and Doritos her cart was stuffed with that got her to ths sorry state.
Perhaps its the south, but the men can be worse. Doughey bald guys with goatees and an obsession with childish junk like xbox, comic books and Star Wars are the norm rather than the exception. The thought of them having sex is truly disgusting. The thought of one of these skinheads those awful people who look like they are escapees from a concentration camp, you think some of us fatsos want to have sex with YOU?
I was overweight, I was lbs at 5'3. Now I am pounds. Luckily I lost it in my 20s, so I had no health effects yet, and I have no extra skin now. You CAN lose weight. It did take awhile, so don't judge. You can't snap your fingers and get skinny. It takes time to start eating better and working out before you see real results.
Now that I'm thin again, sometimes guys will comment on my "great" body and it's a turn off I'm married anyway, but men are pigs haha. Idk, guys who are obsessed with bodies just seem like skeevy slobs. My uncle is 5'7, pounds, runs 5 miles every day. And he had a heart attack recently! With sex stuff, honestly, it's no different now than when I was fat. The only time it was different was when I was pregnant which is part of the reason I got fat in the first place! I'm just confused why there's so much HATE for overweight people. I'll freely admit, I could eat less and exercise more, but why do you hate me?
I definitely don't blame skinny people or society for my weight and I don't try to convince anyone that being overweight is a great choice. But, I'm a very kind and good person- it's fine that you look at me and don't think I'm attractive or even that I'm gross, but why be so cruel? I'm sure I'll get some smart ss replies about how now that I'm sad I'll probably go stuff my fat face, but for anyone who has a shred of human decency, I'm just asking you to think a little bit about how what you're saying can hurt someone you don't even know.
What is the point of that? These comments are not intended to be personal, just generalizations I'm sure. I have a lot of fat jolly friends and they are wonderful. And I try to get them to eat better and exercise without being pushy. That said, I would NEVER date a fat person, nor do I find fat attractive because it's not about the appearance but about the message it often sends: And before the myopic masses start yelling at me about genetics, drug side effects, metabolism, remember this is NOT the reason why there is an obesity epidemic in this country.
It's because of the horrible inactive life style people in America live. And one only has to look at other countries around the world to appreciate that being fat is a choice, not an inevitable consequence of aging. Now the rest of you can sit and rationalize all you want why its ok to be fat while the rest of the world just pities you. Maintaining a healthy weight is a simple equation — burn off what you consume, and consume decent food to build muscles, bones, etc. I am so fed up with fat people whining that "it isn't their fault", and that they should be a specially protected class under the law.
So the next time you're reaching for a bag of chips, or that extra large sundae, or that third burger Don't whine about addiction, or time, or whatever lame excuse it is you use to not take care of yourself. I don't care about your whiny self-esteem issues get over it, it's just another excuse. At least shows like Biggest Loser show that extremely obese people can trim down. Kind of voids the endless list of excuses.
You worked hard to get fact. Don't expect sympathy or congratulations for it. The obese are the last target of hatred and bigotry for idjits and losers to work out their issues upon. They're simply a convenient whipping boy to divert attention from the real problems.
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It's amazing how prejudice people are against overweight and obese people. Very sad to see all the assumptions made and such anger. There is no easy way to tell a fat person they are fat and send a clear message that being fat is not ok on so many levels. Yes, the fat person knows they are fat, and they simply do nothing about it.
So then they should not get upset when we point out that they will eventually have a obesity related health consequence that will add more costs to our already strained healthcare system. Do you politely tell a smoker to stop smoking? You can but that won't help. This is why it's called tough love. And that isn't prejudice. So next time, try to see a bigger picture pun intended.
I figured there would be a lot of immature comments after reading this article First off, not everyone who is obese chooses to be that way. Yes most have unhealthy eating habits but it's not like many of these people are genetically predisposed to be skinny. Maintaining a healthy weight is harder as you age because your metabolism switches gears. You have to exercise harder, eat less than you're accustomed to and cut out some stuff altogether.
The vast majority of people are huge because they are very much like herd animals: Studies have also found that when you are direct and blunt with people, you have a better chance of changing their behavior, so long as it is done in a constructive way. Unfortunately, many many people ARE easily misled look at all the morons voting republican and the food industry knows this. People need to start thinking. And I mean really thinking.
There are so many disrespectful comments. I've seen ugly fat people and I've seen ugly skinny people. I've seen beautiful fat people and beautiful skinny people. It seems that there are a lot of ugly, low self-esteemed, vain, narcissistic, skinny people commenting. Don't like arrogant, muscle bods with god-complexes that's okay too. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Just because you go to the gym and are super fit does not make you a good person. As for the comments about going to the gym, unless you're gonna pay gym membership All these negative comments towards "fatties" are a way for you to feel superior".
It's obvious there is something unfulfilled in your life if you have to bash others. This must be especially true for some of the posters who have posted more than once. And just so you'll know, I am 5"7 , weigh in at , and I have been told I am beautiful inside and out. The only thing I find more offensive than a fat woman? A fat woman who actually deceives herself into thinking she's hot. I'd rather have the skin flayed from my back that pork a fattie. To all of the people out there who are so "grossed out" But that's "gross out" goes both ways. I can damn well tell you that I'd far rather be fat than a whole lot of other stuff.
To all of you people out there who don't want to pay taxes to support a medical system that has us fatties on it. I am paying for a whole lot of crap with my tax dollars that I don't want to support. That's how it goes in a Democracy. The one thing that this story misses is a discussion of obesity and sex from a racial standpoint. I have been undeniably overweight since the birth of my second child. But that hasn't stopped me from being able to date after I got divorced, and as a woman of mixed race, this is with people of all races.
What I do find, however, is that Black men are more forgiving. That's because being overweight in Black culture isn't as much of a taboo. In fact, the legacy of Black Americans is that being overweight is a sign of wealth in Africa. Black woman, many of whom are overweight have among the highest recorded self-esteem. So, this is really what a lot of Black people would call a "white" problem. But as a mixed-race woman, it really hasn't been a problem regardless of the direction I went.
In fact, I can't imagine feeling that down on myself or allowing a man to disrespect me in that way. My sex life has been great. I date well I have a serious relationship with a short fat man who is white. I have found someone of true depth in character who also happens to be the best I ever had. Oh please don't bring me any good looking thin men who think they're hot stuff.
I wouldn't give one of them the time of day. Iove my short fatty. He's perfect for me in every way. It's great that you have high self esteem. Unfortunately it will do nothing to stop your friends and love ones from missing you when you die from weight-associated illnesses before you even turn Promoting hate is wrong, but we need to do something.
I remember a 5th grade class trip to the circus. The fat lady weighed lbs. And the people I know I make sure I keep my weight down. Ain't going down that road. Just read that post about the huge lady who needed a special coffinwhen she died from a stroke. I do not agree with the hate a lot of these posts contain however I feel I can safely say that a lot of people here are anti-obesity proponents.
So why aren't all of you writing to congress demanding more nutritious meals for our schools? Due to recent legislation pizza is now a vegetable due to the tomato content. Health starts with modeling behavior. A lot of parents are not spending the time to make healthy meals at home anymore. As a result, kids eat sugar for breakfast and grease for lunch and dinner. You are against spending health dollars on obesity related conditions? Then save money by investing in school lunches.
The government wants to decrease health costs but at the same time allows grossly unhealthy foods to be served in school thereby contributing to the increasing obesity rates and fueling the rising costs of healthcare. Doesn't make a lot of sense to me.
Maybe instead of tearing people down you can do something productive. My obese friends who are married have wonderful lives in the bedroom. I don't get that being fat is any problem with the mechanics — in fact, I've heard it can enhance it. What probably matters most is self-esteem and attraction: Otherwise there's no issue. If so many people are overweight exceeding an arbitrary number , then shoudn't "fat sex" be normal? Maybe they should start making airline seats wider, seatbelts longer, and skinny people should be shunned. Women with curves are HOT!
A person's personal eating habits are their own, but if we as a society have decided that fat is OK, then so be it. It's not different than any other societal shift in preference. Live and let live. All this reminds me of the AIDS epidemic and all the hatred and bigotry directed against those who suffered from the illness and the disease. It's just an excuse for abuse of a group of people, some of whom have no control over what happened to them.
You cannot tell from the outside which ones are which so how dare you judge any of them? It's clear that you have some bigger mental issues. To compare HIV to obesity is like comparing a plane crash to parachuting. People who have gotten HIV in the early understanding of the disease did not know how or what was killing them and they certainly had no idea how to prevent it at the time.
Now we have a much better understanding of a disease caused by a virus. The vast majority of obesity cases are due to poor diet and lack of activity.. And it is reversible. To even group AIDs patients with obese patients who lack the motivation, effort, and will power of conquering their self inflicted condition is the ultimate insult to AIDS patients who have gotten a disease often unknowingly ie blood transfusions, rape, etc. If you're on a plane and it crashes, that isn't your fault. If you get on a plane and decide to jump off thinking you will be ok, that's your fault.
Obese people too often make poor choices and then they expect sympathy from those of us who strive to be healthy. Save your elementary arguments for the less intelligent because you clearly have revealed more to us about your depth of perception than any moral point you were trying to make. Well, Have you heard SeniorsSingleDating. It's the best and most effective senior dating site for senior singles over 50!
Many of our members are well-educated, successful, and fresh in mind. I think you will like it. A female relative in my husband's family was constantly warned by her doctors that she had to lose weight since she was morbidly obese. She didn't and developed many physical problems and died while being prepped for a heart procedure. She couldn't be buried for over a week while they tried to find a coffin big and sturdy enough for her body. She was kept in the mortuary. She should have been cremated but it was against her family religion and couldn't get her to the crematorium anyway.
They finally obtained a bigger casket, had to take all of the padding, etc. My own weight is normal but everyone in that family always made catty remarks about my figure and said I was too thin. Some families just like fat people and encourage each other to be gluttons. Being fat is a disease and if your life is losing quality due to having a disease then you should probably cure yourself of the disease first.
The Center for Disease Control monitors obesity, the symptoms of being fat are being fat, and the cause comes from improper diet and inadequate exercise. Unlike AIDS, once you have 'fat' you can easily cure it with simple small steps. Unlike HIV, the cure is free. And unlike all other diseases, you can see the onset and it developes very slowly and can at any time be completely reversed with simple easy steps. People should have smaller meals throughout the day.
This will kick your metabolism into a fat annihilating mode. Your body will stop storing fats because your are actually feeding yourself properly. His doc told him to lose weight or he'd wind up having knee replacements. His wife couldn't convince him to obey the doc either. He HAD to lose weight before they did the surgery so he finally did. The choir plans to go to the nursing home to sing for him sometime soon. I am NOT looking forward to it at all. This did not have to happen. I wonder how his wife feels now.
They'll share news and views on health and medical trends - info that will help you take better care of yourself and the people you love. Struggling with sex when you're overweight Ian Kerner , a sexuality counselor and New York Times best-selling author, blogs about sex on Thursdays on The Chart.
February 3, at Paul I know it's disgusting, but think about it they are fat and want to put something in their mouth is a win win. February 4, at Chartreuxe It's clear all of you spend a lot of time thinking about other people having sex. Why is it the obese have starring rent-free roles in your heads? February 6, at ZacJ I don't see why everybody got worked up over this article.
February 15, at DSBsky She got married, she got complacent, she got fat, you got suckered.. Laurie A Well aint you something special buddy? Jon You seem to have some emotional problem with fat people. Critic There are lots of good reasons to loose weight. Joyce Sometimes people have so much crap to deal with in their lives like a superficial appearance obsessed spouse who doesn't deal with other problems in the relationship losing weight is the last thing on their minds. Bob Schmidt Right on brother!
Bob Schmidt Hey Jon, he doesn't have an "emotional" problem with fat people; he is simply disgusted by fat people and really who isn't? Paul Fat equals lazyness, not caring about yourself or the person you are with, lack of self control. Christian The words are harsh, but deep down most of us know — you are right. NoFatties I just hope they don't film this and it ends up on You Tube. Critic You didn't actually read the article, did you? Buckhippo At the woman who is over 70, I think your hub can't keep up cuz you are over 70 and larger than life.
ZacJ Ok to be fat? B The article says: NotSoFast I'm a middle aged female. Glen while I agree people have to have self esteem and self worth when their partner talks to them, I think that being open to some criticism is healthy. Glen No, the issue is not that your partner is worried about you dying too soon.
Mike not too hard to not be obese. PumpNDump Listen up, fatso. Nothing is hot or attractive about a fat pig like you. Lol February 4, at Relictus Fat hog on the outside, fat hog on the inside. February 5, at Mike Constructive criticism is different that being downright disrespectful.
February 9, at Bob Schmidt Stop eating so god damed much! Paul What a bunch of bologne. Wait dont eat this sentence please!! Relictus Thin people don't understand? Slippery Fat woman here. Paul It's funny reading the comments to see how delusional fat people are. Greg Maybe I'm the only one that feels this way, But I prefer chubby girls! JollyFatty nah, you ain't the only guy who likes a woman who's cuddley and not so obsessed with her body that she spends more time at the gym than she does holding hands with you.
Buckhippo Erin, this is the problem in the western societies.
'I don't know how to talk to my mum about her being extremely overweight'
Relictus "A few pounds" Emms Losing weight is just all-around beneficial if you're actually overweight. Buckhippo You are absolutely incredible and I cannot thank you enough for sharing that with us. LOL All this talk Mike eat healthy and walk more, you'll be surprised. Maybe that's why my husband gained weight. I keep him confused. LOL Hey if he doesn't mind then more power to you. Buckhippo Lord have mercy, do you think that just because you age you get fat?
SirSpeaksIt Yeah it gives him the right. Mike more cushin for the pushin hehehe Mike to all who say losing weight is hard, well, it's not. Frankly The more fit you are, the more attractive you'll be and the better sex you'll have. Liliangrae True and not true. Buckhippo Please don't feed the animals. TruthIS A pretty girl is a pretty girl. Quinn Do you really think everyone on the planet will look the same at age 40 that they did at age 20? Liliangrae I think it is funny that most of the comments are about women gaining weight. John Well, it's not as if people can't lose weight.
It's not that hard Bud I'm a man over SirSpeaksIt Stop trying to rationalze February 5, at Relictus My health care costs are increasing because of the increase in nasty fat people. Chartreuxe Bud, you're dispensing wisdom to deaf and blind fools. SunBadger 20 years ago I weighed 42 now at at 6'4" I am normal.. SunBadger ask freeat40 for coffee? Amy I guess I don't have to worry about the over weight problem. Chartreuxe Sounds like something was wrong with your husband, Amy. Chartreuxe Amy, your husband might have been gay. TJ Just sharpen two pencils and stick them in her ears, dragging her head down and yell "Whip some skull on me!
Buckhippo I agree with the original poster. Quinn I don't suppose any of you men take antidepressants? Chartreuxe Compulsive overeating and Food Addiction are psychological diseases, just as Anorexia and Bulimia are psychological diseases. Your 'advice' is useless since you're completely clueless about this topic.
Paul Unless you are a chubby chaser, no man is attracted to fat women. Mike No woman is attracted to insensitive louts. Grace Some of you people are idiots, I hope you or anyone you are supposed to love never gets a disease or gets a sickness where they have to take medications that make you gain weight. SirSpeaksIt Keep eating those burgers and pizza February 5, at Buckhippo Grace, it's people like you that are so stupid it blows my mind. Buckhippo Just get out while you can. Buckhippo There is no guarantee the next guy you date will not get fat, but you can pick a guy with some sense of health consciousness which has this great side effect of being fit.
Buckhippo I think the people there are correct that you guys are having marital problems! Chartreuxe Buckhippo, all your fat is inside your head. That's the true reason you're anonymous in this forum. Buckhippo And to the people who don't realize we are talking about genuine FAT people, get a grip.
Buckhippo For the millionth time, my comments are NOT directed at those of you who have genuine medical problems. No Fat Chicks Sorry, not to sound mean or anything, but when I bend over a honey, I don't expect to be stopped at a degree angle, ya knows what I'm saying.
The Johnson rule o' thumb, "if she cant put her ankles behind her head, pass on that fat" February 4, at Quinn I sure hope you're built like a year-old Brad Pitt to be making an insensitive comment like that. SirSpeaksIt Saw some real pigs at walmart. JollyHippy Oh excuse me! Chartreuxe Spend lots of your time fantasizing about them having sex, SirSpeaksIt?
Love I was overweight, I was lbs at 5'3. Buckhippo These comments are not intended to be personal, just generalizations I'm sure. PumpNDump You worked hard to get fact. Chartreuxe The obese are the last target of hatred and bigotry for idjits and losers to work out their issues upon. Emily It's amazing how prejudice people are against overweight and obese people. FatHip What a fine post you have brought to us. PumpNDump The only thing I find more offensive than a fat woman? Mike It's great that you have high self esteem. February 12, at Drayre I do not agree with the hate a lot of these posts contain however I feel I can safely say that a lot of people here are anti-obesity proponents.
DesMoiner If so many people are overweight exceeding an arbitrary number , then shoudn't "fat sex" be normal? Chartreuxe All this reminds me of the AIDS epidemic and all the hatred and bigotry directed against those who suffered from the illness and the disease. If you claim to be religious, or Christian, allow me to quote the New Testament: These issues touch me deeply. Austin The sluggard buries his hand in the dish; He is weary of bringing it to his mouth again Buckhippo It's clear that you have some bigger mental issues.
February 7, at Austin Being fat is a disease and if your life is losing quality due to having a disease then you should probably cure yourself of the disease first. Mike Its the 3 meals a day that we are told to eat that is actually killing everyone. You insulin and blood sugar spikes shouldn't resemble a sin wave function. Human beings aren't meant to gorge on 3 huge meals a day.
Eat to lose win , im a body builder.
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